Tired.

I'm so tired of getting caught up in the bliss of plans for the future, only to have them shot down in an instant. When there's this one piece of information slightly revealed that makes all the plans just come into perspective. Then you realize, "Gosh, what was I thinking? Did I really think it would be that easy? No. I knew it would be hard. I just didn't know that someone else thought the same way and refused to talk to me about it before."

When I ask someone repeatedly for their opinion, I want it. If I didn't want your opinion, I wouldn't have asked you 90 times. Now, a week later, once I have things worked out in my head and wanting to take the next step, we realized there is something we should have discussed. Just now!

Well, I'm glad I found this out before it was too late.

But, FYI, I have thought about the obstacles and am prepared to meet them as they arise.

I know this will be difficult, and expensive. It will be a challenge. I don't know anyone who got a free, easy, stress-free education.

But what am I supposed to do? I don't want to do this for years to come. And I don't want to leave the people I work for and help every day.

That's besides the point anyway.

I realized that for so long, I've had dreams and aspirations making me excited about the possibilities many times before. It may have seemed crazy to some individuals, but it was what I wanted to do with MY LIFE. I've been scarred by these instances many times, so why aren't I used to it? Maybe I am, and I'm just tired of it.

How long will I have to wait for things to be "just right?"

I guess I'm selfish and I don't want to wait.

....But if I apply and don't get accepted, I will take it as a sign, and try again later. There has to be a plan. There must be, because I feel very strongly about this.